The short answer
All three verbs describe the same kind of event: something passes from one person to another. The difference is whose point of view you tell it from. あげる means the thing moves away from you or your side. くれる means someone gives to you or your side. もらう means you tell the story from the receiver’s side: the receiver is the subject. Attach any of them to a verb’s て-form and the “thing” becomes an action done as a favor: てあげる, てくれる, てもらう.
| あげる / てあげる | くれる / てくれる | もらう / てもらう | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Meaning | give; do for someone | give to me; do for me | receive; have someone do |
| Subject | the giver (you or anyone) | the giver (never you) | the receiver |
| Direction | outward from you, or between others | inward, toward you or your group | toward the subject |
| Giver marked by | が / は | が / は | に or から |
| Example | 妹に本をあげた。 | 友達が本をくれた。 | 友達に本をもらった。 |
The one rule that settles most questions: くれる can only point at you or your in-group. If you are the giver, it is never くれる.
あげる in a nutshell
あげる is “give” when the gift leaves you, or when you are narrating a gift between two other people. The giver takes が or は, the recipient takes に. As てあげる, it means “do something for someone”: the action is the gift.
Form: Noun を + あげる / Verb て-form + あげる
母の日に、母に花をあげました。
I gave my mother flowers on Mother's Day.
田中さんは山田さんにチョコレートをあげた。
Tanaka gave Yamada some chocolate.
弟に自転車の乗り方を教えてあげた。
I taught my little brother how to ride a bike.
Because てあげる spells out “I’m doing you a favor,” saying it directly to the person you’re helping, especially someone above you, can sound patronizing. More in the mistakes section below.
くれる in a nutshell
くれる is “give” with the arrow pointing at you. The giver is the subject; the recipient is you or someone in your circle (family, your team, your company), so the recipient is usually left out entirely. As てくれる, it means “someone does something for me,” and it carries a note of gratitude.
Form: Noun を + くれる / Verb て-form + くれる
誕生日に父が時計をくれた。
My dad gave me a watch for my birthday.
隣の人が妹にお菓子をくれた。
Our neighbor gave my little sister some sweets.
友達が引っ越しを手伝ってくれた。
My friend helped me move.
もらう in a nutshell
もらう is “receive.” The receiver is the subject, and the giver is marked with に (or から for things, especially from organizations). As てもらう, it means “have someone do something for me” or “get someone to do it.” It often implies you asked, or at least that you’re the one who benefited.
Form: Giver に/から + Noun を + もらう / Giver に + Verb て-form + もらう
祖母にお年玉をもらった。
I got New Year's money from my grandmother.
会社からボーナスをもらった。
I got a bonus from the company.
店員さんに写真を撮ってもらった。
I had the shop clerk take a photo for us.
Side-by-side examples
1. One gift, two camera angles. くれる and もらう can describe exactly the same event. Only the subject changes.
2. Kindness offered vs help requested. With actions, てくれる puts the helper in the spotlight, as if they did it on their own initiative. てもらう puts you in the spotlight and often suggests you asked.
3. Outsider or insider? The same sentence switches verbs depending on whether the recipient is on your side.
4. Asking for a favor. Both work as requests. くれない？ asks “will you do it?”; もらえない？ asks “could I have you do it?” and is a shade softer.
5. You as the giver. Only あげる works here. 私が友達に本をくれた is simply ungrammatical, because くれる cannot point away from you.
私は友達に本を貸してあげた。
I lent my friend a book.
How to choose
- Is it a thing or an action? A thing: use the bare verb. An action done as a favor: use the て-form + the verb.
- Who is the subject of your sentence? If it’s the receiver, use もらう, with the giver marked by に.
- If the giver is the subject, where does the item go? Toward you or your family, team or company: くれる. Anywhere else, including from you to someone: あげる.
- Is the other person your superior? Swap in the polite versions: さしあげる for あげる, くださる for くれる, いただく for もらう. When offering help to a superior, drop the favor verb entirely (お持ちしましょうか, “shall I carry that?”).
- Want to thank someone for an action? てくれて ありがとう is the everyday choice; it credits them, not you.
Common mistakes
くれる never has you as the giver. Outward giving is always あげる.
English "gave me" pulls learners toward あげる, but anything coming to you is くれる.
The particle and the verb must agree: giver が with くれる, giver に with もらう.
Offering てあげる to a superior announces that you're doing them a favor, which sounds condescending.
Practice: choose the right one
Show answer
くれた. The giver (兄) is marked with が and the game comes to you.
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あげた. You are the one doing the favor, so it goes outward.
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もらった. The giver is marked with に, so the receiver (you) is the subject.
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あげた. Neither person is you or your in-group, so the default outward verb applies.
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いただいた. It is the humble form of もらった, used because the giver is your teacher.
Related grammar to review next
- てあげる — the full lesson on doing favors for others, with more examples.
- てくれる — favors toward you, and how てくれて ありがとう works.
- てもらう — getting someone to do something, including request forms.
- てやる — the blunt cousin of てあげる, for animals, plants and people below you.
- ていただけませんか — the polite request built on いただく, the humble もらう.
- てほしい — wanting someone to do something, the natural step before asking with てもらえる.
FAQ about あげる vs くれる vs もらう
What is the difference between あげる and くれる and もらう?
All three verbs describe the same kind of event: something passes from one person to another. The difference is whose point of view you tell it from. あげる means the thing moves *away* from you or your side. くれる means someone gives *to* you or your side.
How do I choose between あげる and くれる and もらう?
Is it a thing or an action? A thing: use the bare verb. An action done as a favor: use the て-form + the verb. Who is the subject of your sentence? If it's the receiver, use もらう, with the giver marked by に. If the giver is the subject, where does the item go? Toward you or your family, team or company: くれる. Anywhere else, including from you to someone: あげる.